I am offendable. I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. I wish I wasn’t, but I am. I wish I could look past it, but I can’t. I wish I was stronger, but I’m not. I want to be more mature, but I am still learning how to be a grown up. I wish Jesus was always on the throne, but he’s not. The truth is …
I am an offendable leader.
I get defensive.
I feel insulted.
I become annoyed.
I am resentful when someone attacks me, my family, those I love, and those who cannot speak for themselves.
I prepare to counter your aggression, withstand your verbal sorties or attack your assaults against my integrity.
Sometimes, I don’t forgive as easily as I should.
Sometimes, my skin is thin.
Previous wounds leave me emotionally vulnerable, always looking for and expecting the next assault.
I know I should be better and farther along on my journey, but I am not.
Sometimes, I take things personally.
I know I shouldn’t, but I do, especially when a relationship is devoid of relationship.
I need grace.
I wish I was un-offendable, but the truth is, I am not.
I’m on my way, but I’m not there yet.
I shut down when I feel like people are attacking me.
Words wound and hurt.
Your snarls cut deep.
Your whispers about me disrupt the placid waters of my soul.
Your silence feels like disapproval.
I know everything is not directed at me personally, but it feels like it is.
I try to hide the hurt behind the smile or a stoic mask, but deep in my heart, I am hurt and offended and angry and resentful.
Your sin against me happens often enough for me to deem your apology as powerless and benign.
I am offendable, and I might as well admit it.
I am still learning to walk and talk and love like Jesus.
I am still learning the power of forgiveness.
I am offendable.
I wish I wasn’t but I am.
If you are anything like me, you are, too.
You say you are not, but you have a place in your heart where, if the right words at the right time were aimed at you, you would be offended as well.
I am sorry that I am not further along in my sanctification.
I don’t tell you this because I want you to feel sorry for me or to handle me with kid gloves.
I tell you this so you’ll know that I am letting the Holy Spirit work on my character.
I tell you this so you can challenge me to get better.
I tell you this so I can pray like Jesus: “Father, forgive them. For, they don’t know what they are doing.”
I want the Spirit to produce freedom.
I want the Spirit to produce fruit.
I promise to open my heart to the work of the Spirit.
I’m getting better.
The recovery time is shorter and shorter.
I will no longer ruminate on things said and done to me.
I will let Jesus be Lord.
I will become un-offendable.
Right now I am still a work in process.
I am broken, but I desired to be healed.
I am bound and desire to be free.
I am still
Being conformed to the likeness of Jesus.
I still need God’s grace, mercy, love, and guidance.
I hope you do too.
Turn Your Minutes into Moments
What struck you about this post?
In what area of your life is the Holy Spirit wanting to produce freedom and fruit?