Every week, millions of people listen to men and women preach sermons – long, short, expositional, topical, content heavy, image rich. In order to experience spiritual transformation, I think we should ask a practical question: How should we listen to a sermon?  Here are eight questions we should ask ourselves before or as we listen to a sermon.

Each week someone prepares and delivers a message to their congregation. The preacher prays that the people hear and apply the message to their lives. Just as the preacher prepares to deliver the sermon, the congregation should be ready to receive and apply the message.

The Foolishness of the Sermon

Pastors preach sermons each week. They prepare messages in hopes of their words about the Word will jump start spiritual transformation in people’s lives. Preachers pore over the text and deliver a message from the Bible so that Christ might be formed in people. By anybody’s standards, this is foolishness. It’s foolish because we are using words to convey and express things that are too deep for words. Because God chose the foolishness of preaching (1 Corinthians 1:21), we should be ready to cooperate with the Spirit as we listen. So, here are eight questions we should ask before and as we listen to a sermon.

• Do I expect God to speak?

When we are preparing to listen to the sermon or message, we should expect God to say something that will intersect with our lives. One of the foundational truths of Christ-followers is that we believe God is a speaking God. He speaks through creation, through the Holy Spirit, in and through the community of faith, and through his word. He has spoken in the past, and he still speaks today. Therefore, do you approach the sermon expecting God to speak to you?

• Have I spent time confessing and repenting of known sin?

Listening to the sermon is ultimately a heart issue.

“ The condition of our hearts determines the depth of our hearing.

The condition of our hearts determines the depth of our hearing. Listening to the sermon requires bringing a whole heart to the moment, not one that is divided.

“ We cannot harbor sin and hide the Word in the same heart. One will eventually evict the other.

Someone has said the Word will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Word.

• Have I asked the Holy Spirit for effective listening?

Just because God speaks doesn’t mean we are ready to listen. We need the Holy Spirit to listen effectively to what God wants to say to us. Spend time praying, asking the Holy Spirit for effectively listening to the Word of God. As we pray for effectively listening, he will show us where we need to silence the distractions that keep us from listening.

• What is my plan to obey what I hear?

When we listen to a message, we should have some response plan. The plan can include some executable moves – focusing on one truth you heard for the next seven days, starting with practical and realistic steps of obedience, having someone hold you accountable for your response plan and journal your thoughts and successes and failures. Refuse to be a passive listener. Plan to hear AND obey.

• Have I prayed for the preacher?

Satan wants to distract you, but he intends to distract the preacher more. If he can distract and attack the preacher, he can cheat and defraud you from the truth that might set you free and give you breakthrough that day. Pray for the preacher’s study time, family time, personal prayer time, physical, emotional and spiritual health and transformation.

• Am I living the truth I already know?

God is willing to speak to us each time we open up the Scriptures. But, we must not become professional sermon listeners. Why would God keep revealing more truth when we are not willing to obey the truth he has already revealed?

• Am I willing to ask questions about what the preacher said?

The preacher’s job is to develop modern day Bereans. Luke, in the Book of Acts, tell us that the Bereans were students of the Word of God. When Paul came to Berea and preached, the Bereans checked to see if what Paul was saying was true. Now, they didn’t have a critical spirit, but a curious one. Therefore, when we listen to the sermon, we should ask a few questions: Is what the preacher is saying true? Is the preacher being faithful to the meaning of the text he or she is preaching? Does it mean what he says it means?

“ Idolizing the preacher prevents Spirit-led objective listening.

Idolizing the preacher prevents Spirit-led objective listening. If the preacher can do no wrong, you will think he or she is always right. Thus, you can easily be led astray.

• With whom will I share what I have heard?

One of the ways the sermon will last in our hearts is if we share what we have learned with one or two other people once the sermon is over. Pray about with whom you will share the sermon. Pray that the Holy Spirit will make them receptive to the truth you share. Then, over coffee, lunch, dinner, in a text, or in a private message, share the truth with them humbly and personally (how this Biblical reality intersected with your life).

So, before you come to the next worship service, spend time engaging these questions. You will view the preaching moment through a new lens and hear with new ears. In the end, I believe you will experience deeper and greater spiritual transformation.

What other questions can we ask or practical things can we do to better prepare ourselves to listen to the sermon? 

So, if you liked this post, then you might enjoy this one as well:

9 Compelling Reasons Why I Preach

The post 8 Questions to Ask Before We Listen To A Sermon appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Responding to criticism is an art. An art that I wish President-elect, Donald Trump, would learn. On the eve of honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, President-elect Donald Trump threw some serious shade at Civil Rights icon and hero, Georgia Congressman John Lewis. While John Lewis attacked first, according to Scripture, how should have Donald Trump responded?

In an interview with the political analyst, Chuck Todd, John Lewis said he did not consider Donald Trump’s presidency legitimate. He didn’t consider it valid because the Russians interfered with our democracy, mainly by releasing emails that would cause voters to question Hilary Clinton’s character. Russia didn’t have to highlight her lack of integrity. Clinton did that all on her own. I digress. Moreover, John Lewis said he would not attend the inauguration.

I respect John Lewis. He is an American icon and a Civil Rights hero. However, I don’t agree with Lewis’ assessment. In fact, John Lewis’ statement is disrespectful to the office of the President and it does not contribute to the peaceful transfer of power. That Mr. Lewis is choosing not to attend the Inauguration is his prerogative, but his absence does not foster bipartisanship. I wish he would reconsider.

Though Trump lost the popular vote, the electoral college has spoken. Whether we like it or not or agree with it, Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America. Period. We should honor that. So, I humbly disagree with John Lewis statement against Mr. Trump. This post is more about how Mr. Trump could have responded.

Three Ways Donald Trump Could Have Responded to Criticism

When Donald Trump saw what John Lewis said, he had three plausible ways he could have responded.

1. Donald Trump could have just ignored John Lewis’ statement. He didn’t have to respond at all. Say nothing.
2. He could have humbly taken the high road like Republican Senator Ben Sasse did:
   

   To John Lewis, one of my heroes: Please come to the Inauguration. It isn’t about a man. It is a celebration of peaceful transfer of power.

3. He could have hit back ten times harder. Unfortunately, this is the path Trump chose.

Congressman John Lewis should spend more time on fixing and helping his district, which is in horrible shape and falling apart (not to mention crime infested) rather than falsely complaining about the election results. All talk, talk, talk – no action or results. Sad!

His response is consistent with who he says he is and what he would do if someone attacked him. In his 2007 book, Think Big and Kick Ass, Trump wrote:

When someone intentionally harms you or your reputation, how do you react? I strike back, doing the same thing to them only ten times worse.

This is exactly what Trump is doing to Lewis – striking back only ten times harder. Now, I understand the human heart. If someone hurts you, it is human nature to strike back and get revenge. I have gone tit for tat and eye for an eye more times than I care to admit. I was wrong. What does the Bible say about how we should handle criticism? What can we learn from Lewis and Trump’s missteps?

The Bible and Handling Criticism

When we are criticized, do we go tit for tat and eye for an eye? Do we strike back ten times worse? Is this how Jesus tells us to respond? How does the Bible tell us to react to criticism?

• Disregard some criticism.

Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 7:21 that we should not pay attention to every vindictive word that people say about us. We should not pay attention the gossip of the day because we have better things to which to give our attention. Charles Spurgeon told his pastoral students that they should have one blind eye and one deaf ear.

You cannot stop people’s tongues,” he said, “and therefore the best thing to do is to stop your own ears and never mind what is spoken. There is a world of idle chitchat abroad, and he who takes note of it will have enough to do (Lectures To My Students, p. 321).

• Settle the heated dispute. 

Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, said these powerful words in Proverbs 15:1:

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Solomon is saying the anger of the first speaker can be set aside or calmed by the gentle response of the second speaker. Therefore, it is a response without anger or harshness. The German Common Language Version translates this verse: “A reconciling answer cools down anger, but a hurtful word heats it up.” Responding with gentle words anticipate the gentleness of Jesus (Matthew 11:29) and one of the attributes of a believer who is filled with the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Therefore, being reconciling in heated situations requires forethought, patience, self-controlled, and kindness.

• Defend yourself with integrity.

Integrity is the best defense against criticism. Thus, we should live our lives with such truth and righteousness that no one can find fault with our lives. Daniel’s integrity was his greatest defense against harsh words:

Then the other administrators and high officers began searching for some fault in the way Daniel was handling government affairs, but they couldn’t find anything to criticize or condemn. He was faithful, always responsible, and completely trustworthy. Daniel 6:4

• Receive some criticism as constructive.

We all have blind spots and need people to correct us. Therefore, when someone criticize us, we should ask: Is what the person is saying about us true? If it’s true, then I need to receive the kick in the butt as a gift. Proverbs 10:17 says we should not ignore correction but receive it because it leads to life.

• Bless and pray for those who mistreat you. 

When people injure and criticize us, Jesus gives us a very clear, but difficult command: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:28) When we bless and pray for those who hurt us, words of grace and patience produce more good fruit and unity than words of anger and frustration, we break the cycle of anger and hatred, and I believe blessings come back to us.

Ultimately, when you know WHO you are and WHOSE you are, you don’t have to react to every criticism that comes your way. Wise people respond wisely to criticism. We would do well to listen to Dale Carnegie:

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

What are some other ways we can respond to criticism? 

The post How Should Trump Have Reacted To John Lewis’ Criticism appeared first on Marvin Williams.

We all do it even though we know we shouldn’t. Sometimes, we are aware when we do it, and sometimes we are not. But, we all do it, and it hurts him when we do. In Ephesians 4:30, Paul told the Ephesians to not grieve the Holy Spirit. But, what does it mean to grieve the Spirit?

When someone gives us a precious gift, our response is to cherish it. The most precious Gift Jesus gave us when he left earth, besides salvation, is the Holy Spirit. Instead of cherishing this precious Gift, we disregard the Holy Spirit. We grieve the Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is a Person, Not a Force

Before we say what this very important command means, we have to first settle the truth that the Holy Spirit is a person, not a force. The Spirit is not an inanimate object. The Spirit is a person, with a real personality and real emotions. He can be treated in personal ways (Acts 5:3; Acts 5:9; Hebrews 10:29). He teaches (Luke 12:12), affirms or testifies (Romans 8:16), prays for us (Romans 8:26), warns (Acts 20:23), speaks (Acts 8:29; Acts 10:19), knows, calls out (Galatians 4:6) and hears (John 16:13). Forces don’t act in personal ways like this; only people do. The Holy Spirit is a person who acts in personal ways.

The Holy Spirit Transforms

The Spirit does the work of spiritual transformation in us. As we submit to his work in our lives, he produces lasting fruit in our lives (Galatians 5:22-23).  Christlikeness is the ultimate goal of the Spirit’s work in our lives. He leads us to put off the thoughts and deeds of the old self and put on those of the new self. When we behave in a way that shows we are not willing to put off the old self, we grieve the Spirit.

Grieving the Spirit

But, what does it mean to grieve the Holy Spirit?  To grieve the Spirit means to cause him pain, sorrow, and disappointment by our sins.  In the context of the passage, several sins grieve Him. Lying to one another grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 4:25). Uncontrolled anger grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 4:26). Stealing from one another grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 4:28). Obscene, foul and worthless language grieve the Spirit (Ephesians 4:29). Being bitter grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 4:31). Unforgiveness grieves the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:32). Sexual immorality grieves the Spirit (Ephesians 5:2-3). Thus, any sinful attitude, thought, or behavior grieves the Holy Spirit.

In short, when we treat one another with contempt, we deny the presence of the Spirit in our lives. Our sins, especially our sins against people in the covenant community (the Church) disappoint and even alienate the Spirit. This is unfortunate because He is the one who identifies us a belonging to God and to one another. He guarantees our future redemption. He empowers us to persevere until Jesus returns. Therefore, the Spirit is the most important person in our lives until Jesus returns. One scholar says grieving the Spirit is like rejecting a priceless gift from God.

Giving the Devil a Foothold

When we grieve, resist, disappoint, sorrow, and pain the Spirit means we give the devil a foothold in our lives. He takes advantage of and schemes against us (Ephesians 4:27). The devil wants us to resist the only power that can keep us from falling prey to his devious tactics and schemes

“ When we grieve the Spirit, we delight the devil.

How Not to Grieve the Spirit

So, how do we not grieve the Spirit?

• First, we must fill our lives with the words of Jesus. The Holy Spirit reminds us of all that Jesus said.
• Second, we must repent or turn from the sin of disappointing the Spirit.
• Next, we should ask the Spirit for the desire to hear and respond to Him.
• Lastly, do what He tells you to do. Sometimes, he asks us to do things that are strange. But, remember He will never invite you to do something that is not aligned with Scripture.

Followers of Jesus should be radically different than people in the world. We have to constantly remind ourselves we are not who we used to be. We are actually new people in Christ, and we have the Holy Spirit to help us live new and transformed lives.

What are some other ways we grieve the Holy Spirit? 

What are some spiritual practices that help you respond to the Holy Spirit’s work in your life? 

The post What Does It Mean to Grieve the Holy Spirit? appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Words can create a world of good or a world of destruction. Our words have power. Life and death, healing and destruction, and blessing and cursing reside in the power of our words. They can build people up or; they can tear people down. How do we use our words to create a world of healing, comfort, and peace for others in our sphere of influence?

The adage is: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words never will hurt me.” This statement is intimating that physical attacks may hurt, but verbal assaults will not. The “sticks and stones may break my bones” comment is cute but untrue. The truth is, one word can create worlds and destroy them in one fell swoop. Someone has said that the wounding words we say are like feathers released in a harsh wind, once said; we will never get them back. With our tongues we bless people, and with the same tongue, we curse people. This dichotomy ought not to be so. But, sadly, it is.

Corrupt Words Corrupt Our World

In Ephesians 4:29, Paul attempts to help his brothers and sisters then and his brothers and sisters now to live as faithful ambassadors in an evil world:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

So, when he says “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths…,” what does Paul mean?  What is corrupting talk? The word “corrupting” means rotten or putrid. The word picture is rotten fruit or food. This fruit or food is worthless, harmful, and is not good for anything. It will eventually make people sick and embarrasses the kingdom.

Do you realize that people just tolerate you?
Anyone who ever loved you is wrong.
Now I know why everyone talks about your behind your back. 
You look like a before picture.
You will utterly be forgotten. 
I treasure the time I don’t spend with you. 
Nigger
Spic
Wetback
You’re just like your daddy or your momma
I can’t believe how stupid you are.
Nobody can be that dumb.
It’s apparent that God didn’t bless you with an overabundance of education.

And, the list could go on from here to eternity. Words hurt. Words create worlds – worlds of pain, destruction, and insecurity. These words are like darts that pierce the hearts of real people. These words soil and stain the soul of image-bearers. You look at this list and say how a person could say these things. Jesus tells us from where this type of language comes.

From Where Do Corrupt Speech Come?

Why do we let bad talk come out of our mouths? From where does this foul language come? Jesus says our tongue is tethered to another part of our body – the heart. The mouth is connected to the heart.

You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. Matthew 12:34

So, based on this verse, our mouths are not the issue. Our heart is. The best way you can tell what is in a person’s heart is to let them talk. Eventually, their speech reveals what they believe and who they are. Therefore, if a person’s heart is filled with hatred, it will come out in hate speech. When a person’s heart is filled with lust, it will eventually come out in sexual innuendos. When a person’s heart is filled with pride, it will eventually show up with boasting. If a person fills their heart with insecurity, it typically comes out in biting sarcasm. Eventually, our speech reveals what in our hearts. And, what’s in our hearts reveals who we are.

The antithesis is real as well. When God fills a person’s heart with grace, he will talk about second, third and fourth chances for someone who has failed. But, when a person fills their heart with life, she will speak words of hope and purpose. When a person fills their heart with love, it will eventually come out in words of sacrifice and selflessness.  So, if you want to find out who a person is, just listen to their words.

Therefore, if you change a person’s heart, you will change their speech. Paul certainly knew this truth. As an unsaved rabbi, Paul was “breathing out threats and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1). But when he trusted Christ, a change took place: “Behold, he prays” (Acts 9:11). Paul went from “preying on Christians” to “praying for Christians” in one step of faith!

The question we should be asking ourselves is not what is coming out our mouths, but what’s in our hearts? How’s your heart?

“ The condition of my heart will determine the mission of my words.

Are my words on a mission to heal or to hurt? Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, the author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout this country on the powerful, and often negative, the impact of our language. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, another person. Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands, signifying “yes.” Others laugh, and quite a large number call out, “no!”

Telushkin often responds:

Those who can’t answer ‘yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you cannot go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol. If you cannot go 24 hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. Similarly, if you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.

Use Speech That Build Up

What’s the alternative? Let’s take a look at the second half of Ephesians 4:29:

. . . but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Consequently, the alternative is to let different kinds of words come out of our mouths. Our speech should build up people where they seem to be sagging. Our words should build up. They should encourage. Our speech should bless others who are different from us. Our words should be wholesome and healing rather than rotten and wounding. Therefore, our words matter. One of the most powerful verses on speech or the tongue is Proverbs 18:21. Therefore, let’s use our words to create worlds of life, blessing, honor, and grace.

Seven Day Challenge: Through the power of the Spirit, use speech that builds up rather than tear down. Bless rather than curse others. Resist the temptation to use offensive, unwholesome, corrupting, or unkind words. Use speech that gives life.

Remember, the position of our reveals the condition of our words. So, let’s allow God to breathe new life and transform our hearts through his word.

The post A Seven Day Challenge That Will Change Our World appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Close to 100 million people watched the Trump/Clinton debate last night. The presidential debate was a highly anticipated event. As I looked at the first presidential debate, I learned at least five lessons.

In all my years of voting and participating in the democratic process, I have never witnessed a presidential race like this one. When I thought I could not be surprised anymore, Donald Trump and Secretary Clinton took me on another infamous adventure and down the rabbit hole of lies, spins, and deflections. So, as I watched the first presidential debate last night, I learned at least five lessons.

1. Politicians are wounded and flawed.

As I watched the debate last night, it was very clear that both presidential candidates are fundamentally flawed and fallen individuals. This fallenness should not surprise us by any means. If you know the biblical story, you know that humanity sinned and rebelled against God’s vision for them. The consequence of this one act of rebellion was comprehensive. Sin touched and spoiled every area of the human race, including politics. Michael Goheen, quoting the Contemporary Testimony of the Christian Reformed Church, says:

All spheres of life—marriage and family, work and worship, school and state, our play and art—bare the wounds of our rebellion. Sin is present everywhere—in pride of race; in arrogance of nations; in abuse of the weak and helpless; in disregard for water, air, and soil; in destruction of living creatures; in slavery, deceit, terror and war; in worship of false gods; and in the frantic escape from reality. We have become victims of our own sin.

Consequently, politicians and politics are victims of humanity’s rebellion against a holy and righteous God. So, when we see candidates spinning the truth or bashing one another, we should not become disillusioned and angry. We should expect this type of conduct from fallen and flawed humanity by now.

My Learning: The more I realize the depth of my sin and woundedness, the more I can understand and appreciate God’s grace. 

2. Many words ultimately lead to sin.

Solomon, in Proverbs, advocated restraint in our speech. Those who talk too much show their ignorance and leads to ruin (18:6–7). Knowing when to remain silent leads to the avoidance of trouble (21:23). A fool’s silence may even make the fool seem wise (17:28). Both candidates talk a lot, spin the truth, and are not economical with words. As a result, they have revealed their lack ethics and moral fortitude. The more they speak, especially Trump, the more we can peer into their hearts. Talking to the Pharisees, Jesus connected the heart with the mouth.

You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. Matthew 12:34

So, based on this verse, our mouths are not the issue. Our heart is. If you change a person’s heart, you change their speech.

My Learning: The best way to guard my mouth is to let Jesus transform my heart.

3. Integrity is not necessary for public office.

I remember when integrity was necessary for political office. Truthfulness guarded your character against arrows of unfounded criticism. Having a posture of honesty is no longer the case. Consequently, neither political candidate is trustworthy, has an honest character, or moral mettle. Clinton has lied about her private email server, the Clinton Foundation, Benghazi, TTP and so many other issues. Trump lied about birtherism, his tax returns, Global warming, and about a host of other matters. The Bible is clear on the matter of integrity:

Therefore, an honest person is secure in his or her attitude and conduct. God will expose, humiliate and ruin those who lack integrity. Lies and spinning the truth have exposed each candidate as untrustworthy and unethical.  This new politic troubles and disturbs me, but does not shock me. There is only One who is wholly holy.

My Learning: My public and private life should be united in holy matrimony.

4. Divisiveness sells ratings

Close to 100 million people tuned in last night, not to hear the issues, but to see Trump and Clinton attack one another. In the first fifteen minutes, I was optimistic. It seemed like it was going to be a civil debate – challenging one another on the real issues facing our country. They quickly disappointed my optimism. The gloves came off, and the attacks began. I think many people got what they were looking for. In this political season, unity and civility are boring and annoying.

Though Democrats and Republicans differ on many issues, the one thing I know they agree on is working toward a “more perfect union.” It would have been nice to hear the candidates talk about a few more issues on which they agree. Many issues divide our country – race, economics, morality. We need candidates to bring us together rather than drive us apart.

My Learning: The Spirit is the only One who can unite me with brothers and sisters who are different from me. 

5. Public office is not about serving others.

I thought public service was about humility and focusing on others before you focus on yourself. I was wrong. Narcissism and hubris mire us in this new politic. Rather than talking about how to serve the American people, the candidates spent most of the night talking about themselves. Trump talked extensively about who has endorsed him and how proud he was of himself. Clinton’s poised posture came across as smug. We did not hear either candidate say:

“I am fighting for you.”
“I am running for president because I want to serve you.” 
“The American people are my core passion.” 

The True Servant

So, the candidates reminded me last night that there is only One who is the ultimate antithesis of hubris and narcissism.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11

My Learning: Selfless service is the road that leads to honor.   

God is not interested in who won the debate Monday night. He is interested in forming and transforming our character. God is not interested in style points, public opinion or poll ratings. He is concerned about how well we represent him in the world.

What lessons did you learn from the first presidential debate?

See also:

23 Declarations I’ll Make If Trump or Clinton Is Elected

The post 5 Lessons I Learned from The Trump-Clinton Debate appeared first on Marvin Williams.

When friends share bad news with us, we tend to sympathize and even weep with them. But, what about when friends share their good news with us? It seems like it takes a little more time and maturity to be happy about their happiness. I hate this about myself. How can we be happy about another person’s happiness?

There is a healthy way to respond to someone else’s good news and there is an unhealthy way to respond. Shelly Gable, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, identifies four possible responses to someone else’s good news.

Gable’s Four Responses to Good News

To help highlight and clarify Gable’s responses, I included examples from Scripture.

Active-constructive: The responder is enthusiastic, shows interest and is supportive. After Mary found out she was preggers, she went to Elizabeth’s house to share the good news. Here is Elizabeth’s active-constructive response:

Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. Luke 1:42-44

Passive-constructive: The responder seems positive, but his response is muted and does not ask probing questions. When Zechariah and Elizabeth name their newborn son, their neighbors give a passive-constructive response:

Awe fell upon the whole neighborhood, and the news of what happened spread throughout the Judean hills. Everyone who heard about it reflected on these events and asked, “What will this child turn out to be?” For the hand of the Lord was surely upon him in a special way. Luke 1:65-66

Active-destructive: The responder energetically belittles or actively attempts to destroy your good news. She focuses on negative implications of the positive news. When Mary gives birth to Jesus – the One born King – Herod gives an active destructive response:

After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said. “Stay there until I tell you to return because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” That night Joseph left for Egypt with the child and Mary, his mother, and they stayed there until Herod’s death. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: “I called my Son out of Egypt.” Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men’s report of the star’s first appearance. Matthew 2:13-16

Passive-destructive: The responder barely acknowledges your good news and is unhappy about your good news but may never express it. She might also pretend like she is happy or she might change the subject. When the wise men enter Jerusalem, looking for Jesus, the newborn king, Herod exhibits a passive-destructive response:

King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?” Then Herod called for a private meeting with the wise men, and he learned from them the time when the star first appeared. Then he told them, “Go to Bethlehem and search carefully for the child. And when you find him, come back and tell me so that I can go and worship him, too!” Matthew 2:2-4, 7-8

Out of the four responses, obviously, the active-constructive response is the healthiest. It has a positive impact on our relationships. Active-constructive responses build trust and values the person who share the good news. The latter two – active and passive destructive – tend to be born out of jealousy, envy, suspicion, and insecurity. These will always lead to unhealthy relationships. How can we get better at active-constructive responses and create healthier relational connections?

How To Get Better at Active-Constructive Responses

• Feel/know your own heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

• Love the giver of good news.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

• Demonstrate your interests in the person giving good news.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4

• Celebrate others rather than destroy others.

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:11-12

Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us weep with those who weep, but more importantly to rejoice with those who rejoice. When we respond positively to other people’s good news, we show our maturity. The same God that blessed our friends with good news, is the same God who can bless us with good news. Active constructive responses, ultimately, create healthier relationships. In the end, everyone wins.

How do you tend to respond to other people’s good news? 

When is it difficult for you to be happy about someone’s happiness? 

The post 4 Ways to Respond to Other People’s Good News appeared first on Marvin Williams.

God gives us all assignments in life, and he wants to empower us to accomplish those tasks. I believe we truly desire to achieve the tasks that God gives us. But, though we have a desire to achieve that purpose, there are four letters that can keep us from accomplishing his purpose in our lives.

The people of Israel remained in slavery in Egypt for over 400 years. God saw their oppression and heard their cries of distress. So, he came down to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and to lead them to a vast land. God planned to save them through Moses. But, Moses almost allowed four letters to prevent him from his purpose.

Then Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The LORD never appeared to you’?” 

The LORD gave Moses an assignment, but Moses doubted his purpose because of the power of THEY. THEY were the people who attempted to stop him from fulfilling God’s purpose for his life. THEY were the people to whom God had called him to rescue.  Moses believed THEY would challenge his credibility as a spokesman for the LORD. Like Moses, sometimes, the power of THEY paralyzes, stifles, immobilizes and weakens me. 

What will THEY say?

How will THEY respond?

Will THEY like and love me?

Will THEY believe me?

What if THEY question me?

What if THEY bring up my past?

The post 4 Letters That Can Keep You From Your Purpose appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Love the sinner, hate the sin. I believe these six words cause unquantifiable pain and erode the public perception of followers of Jesus. “Love the sinner, hate the sin” seems innocent and even spiritual, but I believe can be a dangerous Christian cliche. Here are at least several reasons why it is and why we should stop using it.

Augustine of Hippo coined this phrase. He attempted to explain how leaders should carry out church discipline. Moreover, he wanted to reconcile the tension that exists between God’s love and God’s wrath. Over the centuries, however, this phrase has become a bad Christian cliche for several reasons.

• Jesus never commanded us to love the sinner, hate the sin. 

First, Jesus never commanded us to love the sinner, hate the sin. Many Christians believe Jesus would agree with “love the sinner, hate the sin,” But would he? I am not sure he would. In fact, Jesus called us to love – to love people without qualifiers:

The second (commandment) is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:31

Notice the word Jesus did use when talking about people. He used the word “neighbor.” This attitude of love and grace toward people is a game-changer. When Jesus dealt with people, he dealt with them as friends, who needed love, protection, and salvation.

“ When Jesus dealt with people, he dealt with them as friends, who needed love, protection, and salvation.

 He dealt with people personally. If they needed to repent, he didn’t command us to say: “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” Any behavior that needed to change, Jesus didn’t condemn, but he loved people toward personal transformation. In fact, this is the reason Jesus came into the world.

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17

Let me tell you what I am not saying. I  am not saying sin doesn’t matter to God; it does. God is a holy God and sin grieves and offends him:

So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. Genesis 6:6

Nor, am I saying that people aren’t sinners. The Bible is pretty clear on this. We are not good people who occasionally do bad things. We are fundamentally bad people, who occasionally do good things. God knew we could not save ourselves. Thus, he sent Jesus to die to forgive our sins.

Nor am I saying that we should be so loving that it is devoid of a high challenge to holiness. Part of loving people is helping them to see how their sin does break the heart of God.

All I’m saying is, God will deal with sin in a person’s life. He didn’t call us to be sacred intermediaries or the crime police on behalf of others. As we are faithful to live transformed lives and preach a gospel that changes lives, the Holy Spirit will convict and transform. Jesus never told us to “love the sinner, hate the sin.” He only told us to love our neighbor.

“ Jesus never commanded us to ‘love the sinner, hate the sin.’ He only told us to love our neighbor.

Period. When we replace Jesus’ words with familiar Christian phrases, we run the risk of hurting people and being unlike Christ.

• Love the sinner, hate the sin is hypocritically inconsistent.

Secondly, “love the sinner, hate the sin” is hypocritically inconsistent. Christians seem to direct toward one particular group – the LGBT community. I have hardly ever heard Christians use “love the sinner, hate the sin” in the context of any other sin gluttony (overeating), pride, materialism, jealousy, anger, racism, and sexism. In my humble opinion, we use this phrase selectively. If we use this phrase, let’s make sure we include all our secret sins and call for holiness in every area of our lives.

But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:15-16

Notice what Peter said? We must be holy in everything we do. The Greek word for everything is everything. This holiness includes being set apart in our finances, our marriages, our singleness, our speech, our motives, and yes, our sexuality. It seems we pick and choose what areas in which we will be holy. We passionately call down God’s judgment on OTHERS while asking for mercy for OURSELVES. Luke illustrates this in his gospel:

“Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not like other people—cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:9-14

So, before we remove the splinter from someone else’s eye, let’s remove the two-by-four from our eye. Before we call out sin in anyone’s life, let’s be sure to be as passionate and thorough in calling out sin in our lives. So, this phrase is dangerous because it is hypocritically inconsistent.

• Love the sinner, hate the sin is a cover to continue hateful condemnation. 

Third, “love the sinner, hate the sin” seems to be a cover for some Christians to keep their hateful condemnation intact. This phrase allows some Christians to use God as a cover for their hatred toward another person or group, especially the LGBT community. When people use these words, it appears the emphasis is always on HATE the sin and not on LOVE the sinner. HATE the sin seems to manifest itself in various forms – raining down hateful and homophobic speech, sickening violence, terrorist-like threats, and conditional disassociation. I have hardly ever heard anyone put emphasis on LOVING the sinner.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of the founding pastor of the homophobic and hate-filled Westboro Baptist Church, proves this point. She says:

You think our job is to win souls to Christ. All we do, by getting in their face and putting these signs in front of them and these plain words, is make what’s already in their heart come out of their mouth. She admitted that the money they spend flying to funerals is spent “to spread God’s hate.”

Phelps-Roper and Westboro are good examples of how hating the sin is much easier than loving the sinner. Hating the sin doesn’t require us to do anything. It only obliges us to open our mouths and use words of hatred and judgment. It doesn’t compel us to build a relationship with anybody.

On the other hand, loving the sinner” compels us to genuine, compassionate action. As my good friend, Kizombo Kalumbula said in a recent article, compassion “requires us to immerse oneself in the condition of the other.” This work of love is consistent with the gospel. Whatever your theological persuasion on the gay issue or any other moral issue, “loving the sinner” has to include having meaningful dialogue and building genuine relationships.

We must not let our fears perpetuate hatred and condemnation. Loving the sinner doesn’t allow us to remain distant, aloof, cold, apathetic, and inaccessible.

“ Loving the sinner doesn’t allow us to remain distant, aloof, cold, apathetic, and inaccessible.

 As long as we are distant, we can continue to hide our hatred in these six words. The most devastating part is, we use God’s name to cover our hatred. So, no matter how much we say God is love, people will hear God is hate. Why? I think this is true because his people behave in hateful ways.

Let’s change this narrative. The new story deemphasizes cliches. The new story renders hatred as a weak and impotent foil and love as the lead actor. This new story compels us to go beyond hatred and condemnation. It moves us to live lives that are consistent with the good news.

How have you seen these six words disguise condemnation?

Also, check out:

How Should Christians Respond to the Tragedy in Orlando? 

Christian Lead Singer Announces He’s Gay.

The Way We Think About Sex Is Broken. 

The post Why “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin” Is Dangerous appeared first on Marvin Williams.

When we tweet or post something on social media, it can be a great avenue to help people stay connected and spark healthy conversation. Unfortunately, it a place where people think they can use their words to display their ignorance, the depth of their depravity, and vulgarity, without any significant consequences. Well, on the internet, “words create worlds,” and one Cleveland Cavaliers fan found out that his words created a world of unemployment for him.

When Sydel Curry, Steph Curry’s sister, said that she, her mother, and grandmother were on their way to Cleveland to watch the Warriors play in Game 3 of the NBA Finals, something interesting happened. A Twitter user, who goes by the name @SoftCaramelKiss (he has since deleted his account), went on a profanity-laced tirade directed toward her and other family members. Moreover, he had the gall to aim a homophobic slur at Riley Curry, Steph’s 3-year-old daughter.

Unbelievable!

Twitter users did not let him get away with this. So, they did a some Colombo investigative work and found out that he worked for Holton-Wise Property Group, an Ohio real estate company. Immediately, the president of Holton-Wise terminated the employee and then wrote an open letter to the Curry family, apologizing for his former employee’s actions.

There are all kinds of social media lessons to be learned from this incident.

Our words create worlds
Life and death and unemployment are in the power of the tongue
If you don’t have anything nice to tweet, don’t tweet anything at all
Nothing dies on the internet

Many people have found out that words are powerful. They can be used to tear down (as in the case of the Cavs fan) or they can be used to bring about healing (as in the case of the President of Holton-Wise). The internet has eyes, watching what we say and do. Colleges have revoked scholarships because of what student-athletes have posted on social media. Employers have fired employees because of a negative or racial post on social media. Networks have canceled shows because of what one band member posted on social media. Employees have had to repay disability money to insurance companies because of what they posted on social media.

This incident reminded me of a powerful passage and message in Ephesians:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

So, what is corrupting talk? The word means rotten or putrid. The word picture is rotten fruit or food. This fruit or food is worthless, harmful, and is not good for anything. It will eventually make people sick. Moreover, these words are like darts that pierce the hearts of individuals at whom they are directed.

So, why do we let offensive words come out of our mouths? From where do these bad words come? Jesus says the heart and the mouth are connected.

A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad.  You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

So, based on this verse, our mouths are not the issue. Our heart is. If you change your heart, you will change your speech. 

“ If you change your heart, you will change your speech.

As we read, study and apply the word of God to our lives, the Holy Spirit will begin to change our hearts and our words. Then, we will begin to see that the Word will create a whole new world for us.

Paul and others around him certainly knew this. For, when he was an unsaved rabbi, he was “breathing out threats and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1). But when he trusted Christ, a change took place: “Behold, he prays” (Acts 9:11). Paul went from “preying” to “praying” in one step of faith! How is your heart? The health of your heart will determine the health of your words. 

“ The health of your heart will determine the health of your words.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, the author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout this country on the powerful, and often the negative impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, another person. Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands, signifying “yes.” Others laugh, and quite a large number call out, “no!”

Then, Telushkin responds:

Those who can’t answer ‘yes’ must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you cannot go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol. If you cannot go 24 hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. Similarly, if you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.

So, what’s the alternative? The alternative to corrupting talk is to let different kinds of words come out of our mouths.

Words that build up.
Words that heal.
Words that help people to get from here to there.
Words that encourage
Words that appreciate
Words that honor
Words that are wholesome
Words that repair.

Before you tweet or post anything on social media, ask this one question:

Will the words I am about to post build up or tear down another person?

As the old adage says: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. You can substitute “tweet” or “post.” If you don’t have anything nice to tweet or post, don’t tweet or post anything at all. Remember, whereas we can change our lives, we cannot change our past. What you post today will live on the internet forever. Therefore, think before you tweet or post.

So, here is the challenge: Go 24 hours without tweeting, posting, or messaging unkind words about others. Only Tweet and post words that encourage, heal, build up, and help people to get from here to there. You will become a reservoir of grace to those who hear and receive your words.

How difficult do you think it will be to go 24 hours without tweeting, posting, or using unkind words about others? 

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