COVID19 is a difficult, but masterful teacher. On March 29th, my wife and I tested positive for the virus. When our doctors called us with our test results, we experienced a wide range of intense emotions: sadness, discouragement, and fear. As I brooded over my Coronavirus experience, God has taught several unexpected lessons.

When our middle son, Micah, came home from Wayne State, sick, we didn’t really think anything of it. We assumed he had a bad cold or was battling allergies. But, several days after his arrival and when Tonia fell ill, with what we thought was the flu – chills, high fever, body aches, and coughing – we sat up and paid closer attention. During this time, I was constantly checking myself for fever and for shortness of breath. No problems – 98.6 and still working out. It was all good. Then, four or five days after Tonia became sick and started to recover, I starting experiencing a low-grade fever (99.1), but no other symptoms – yet.

The COVID19 Test and Results

Curious about whether we had the Coronavirus, on March 26th, we decided to get tested. The test was no joke. I will spare you the details. Let me say, it was eight really really uncomfortable seconds. Seriously. Three days later, the doctors called us with the disruptive news: “You’ve tested positive for COVID19. Quarantine yourself for 14 days and if you begin to experience shortness of breath, go to the hospital immediately. Also, you will receive a call from the CDC the next day or so. In the meantime, stay hydrated and get rest.” No hand-holding. Just the facts. Suddenly, there were waves of emotions:

Sadness 
Discouragement 
Fear 
Guilt
Grief

… and a barrage of unanticipated questions:

When will we experience shortness of breath and have to be rushed to the hospital?
Am I going to die? Is somebody in my family going to die?
Will we die alone? 
God, why me? Why am I suffering? 
Why are the wicked prospering, but we’re sick?

You have to understand that all the reports we saw in the media were mostly negative. I figured someone or multiple people in our family were going to be part of the global map. I know that’s morbid and not super-spiritual, but it was our reality for this moment in time. Our night ended with our children coming to our room and praying with and for us. We went to sleep, trying to rest in God’s sovereign plan for our lives.

COVID19 disrupted our lives and forced us to invite God to go beneath the iceberg and begin a deep work there. When I gave him permission, he taught me some unexpected lessons.

I Can Be Sad and Afraid

When the doctor called with the results of my COVID19 test, I told myself that I couldn’t be sad or afraid. I’m a pastor. I’m supposed to always wear the armor of joy, encouragement, and courage. Never let them see you sweat, have all the answers, and be strong for everybody else, even if that’s not your reality. Image management. Us pastors are really good at this. I WAS afraid, discouraged, and sad. And, I felt guilty for having those emotions. But, I finally gave myself permission to be human. I didn’t have to manage an image. I could lament and introduce my fears to my Father.

I’m Not Special

COVID19 is indiscriminate. It attacks the old, young, all ethnicities, and yes, pastors. However, two of my fellow pastors in the Lansing area have died due to the Coronavirus. My heart breaks for their families and their congregations. Now, I don’t know why I survived and my fellow pastors died. But, I know that I’m not all that special. Yes, I know I am precious to my Heavenly Father. But, I don’t have some special anointing or righteousness that allowed me and my family to survive. It is all God’s grace. I receive it with humility and gratitude.

I Can Only Control the Controllable

Following Jesus is about surrendering control of our lives to him. I could not control our family contracting COVID19, but I could control my response to having the virus. It was difficult for me to control my symptoms – chills, fever, coughing, really bad diarrhea, nightmares, foggy brain, and the loss of taste and smell – but I could control my rhythms to rest, stay hydrated, and follow the recommendations from healthcare workers and governmental officials. I can’t control the length of the Governor’s stay at home orders, but I can control my attitude and the use of my time while quarantined. I surrendered my control to God. For, I can only control the controllable.

God Speaks Through Orange Juice

During my skirmish with COVID19, I lost my taste and smell for six days. This was the most frightening and discouraging part about having the virus. Like anybody else, I love to smell the aroma and taste the many flavors of my food. But, because I couldn’t taste or smell, I didn’t have an appetite. So, I didn’t eat much. But, around day six, at 3 a.m., God gave me a “little” gift. He gave me a craving for orange juice. This was weird because I hadn’t craved anything and I don’t drink much orange juice. I was too tired to go upstairs to the kitchen and get some. By faith, I received God’s gift of orange juice to me.  Later that morning, I went upstairs and drank some orange juice, and it never tasted so good. God gives gifts to his children, and his gifts don’t disappoint.

Needing Others Breaks Pride

I’m a pastor. I pray for people. I don’t need people to pray for me, right? How insidious to our souls and odious to God! So, when we tested positive for COVID19, I invited the Body of Jesus to pray for us. But, I felt guilty for doing so. If I haven’t told you, I’m the pastor. Similar to giving myself permission to feel, I needed to give myself permission to need others. A funny thing happened. God began to expose and break down the pride that I didn’t know was there. I don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s perfectly fine and quite biblical to need others and let them carry your burdens. Followers of Jesus all over the world carried our load and we felt the effects of their prayers.

I have recovered well and I feel strong. I am grateful for the COVID19 experience because God taught me some lessons about him and myself that deepened my transformation. The lessons I learned only came through the difficult and masterful teacher – COVID19.

What unexpected lessons is God teaching you and your family during this season?  

If you liked this post, you might also be interested in some of these previous posts on my site:

14 Proper Responses to Suffering

The post 5 Unexpected Lessons COVID19 Taught Me appeared first on Marvin Williams.

handypetes.com fast viagra without prescription Self-sabotaging thoughts and behavior are destructive. Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby says: “Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and we go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” How do we identify and overcome self-sabotaging language and behavior?

Do you ever talk to yourself and use words like: “You’re not good enough!” “Just give up!” “You’re the worst!” “You are going to fail – again!” “You don’t have what it takes!” These words hit the target of our hearts like missiles, exploding it into pieces. These words don’t come from an enemy, who wishes to destroy our self-confidence; they originate from the cruelty of our hearts. This is negative talk, and if we aren’t careful to replace it with godly optimism, words like these we will stymie and stifle the future God has for us. So, from where does self-sabotage come?

What Are Some Causes of Self-Sabotaging?

Now, no one gets up in the morning saying: “Today, I am going to sabotage my future.” We don’t set out to do it. But, most times I think we are unconscious of this kind of negative talk. So, why then do we use self-sabotaging language and develop self-sabotaging habits?

• We misunderstand our identity

We sabotage our future when we fail to understand who we are. When we fail to understand who we are, we allow others to define our lives for us. They do it with misguided criticism and negative talk. Thus, when other people’s words bore into our souls, they become more powerful than what God says about us. Thus, if we don’t realize who we are, then we will let other people say who we are.

• We become too familiar with failure.

We sabotage our future when we become too familiar with failure. It seems the more we fail at something for no obvious reason or without asking why we failed at something we should have succeeded in, the more we will condition ourselves to expect failure in the future.

• We procrastinate

We procrastinate when we fail to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. This is probably one of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors in my own life. I know what I need to do. But. less important things distract me. Therefore, I miss deadlines and fail to respond in a timely fashion. This can frustrate those in my orbit.

• We engage in negative self-talk

We tell ourselves the world seems meaningless, wisdom seems pointless, pleasures seem empty, works seems vain, the world seems only corrupt and oppressive, loneliness seems only depressing, wealth appears to provide no answers to life and life seems short and miserable. This is pessimistic thinking, and this short-circuits our hope for a better tomorrow.

Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior

At some point in time, we all engage in some form of self-sabotage. The important thing is not focusing on which one of the above behaviors is the thief of your success, but focusing on a pathway to overcoming self-sabotaging behavior.

• Know and embrace your identity

Self-sabotaging behavior grows in the soil of the lie about who we are. We believe we are worthless, useless, and undeserving. You see, we cannot trust our hearts (Jeremiah 17:9). Therefore, I must believe what God says about me. Therefore. here are a few truths God says about us that we should repeat to ourselves each day: I am …

Forgiven! Redeemed! Bought with a price! Known by God! Justified! Accepted! Reconciled! Loved! Saved! Chosen! Alive! Free! More than a conqueror! More than enough! 

• Be self-aware.

To overcome self-sabotage, you need to be aware that you doing it. Watch the thoughts you entertain and listen to the language you use. More importantly, observe your behavior in certain situations. If you want to know what a person believes, watch what they do. Therefore, journal your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Then, you will know where you might be sabotaging your success.

• Ask self-reflective questions

Are you making sure something in your life doesn’t happen by entertaining negative thoughts, listening to pessimistic language, and embracing self-sabotaging habits? Ask yourself: “Why am I failing for no reason?” “What can I do differently to mitigate against negative talk?” “What am I procrastinating?” Am I deceiving myself in any way?” If so, in what areas of my life?

• Live in community. 

We all have blind spots. Thus, one of the ways to become acquainted with our blind spots is to invited trusted friends to give us feedback and to challenge our self-sabotaging language and behavior. Who are the people in your life that you trust to tell you the truth about you? Yes, we should invite and welcome feedback, but we must also celebrate the success and achievements of others (Romans 12:15).

• Think on these things

The Apostle Paul commands us to take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Moreover, we should replace our pessimistic thoughts with godly optimism:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8)

Therefore, as followers of Jesus, when darkness comes and seems to veil what God is doing in the world, may we rest on his sovereign grace and purposes. Our first response should not be pessimism and cynicism, but confidence in God, what God can do, and what he will do in the future for his people. Because God is sovereign and is always doing something in the world, we can trust in him and hope for a better tomorrow.

The post Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior appeared first on Marvin Williams.

For whom should we pray? Our default is to pray for ourselves first, asking God to bless and protect us. Are we too selfish? There is nothing wrong with praying for ourselves. However, the Bible says we should not pray only for ourselves. There are a few more people for whom we should intercede. You might be surprised.

Does the Bible tell us for whom we should pray? The Bible does give us at least eight people for whom we should pray. We should pray for…

• One another – James 5:16; Romans 1:9

We have the responsibility and privilege to fight for one another through the medium of prayer. We should bring one another’s needs – especially the need for physical and spiritual healing – before the Father. Brothers and sisters should love another enough to pray for one another.

• Pastors and spiritual leaders – Ephesians 6:19-20; Colossians 4:3

We should pray for our pastors and spiritual leaders. Pastors/spiritual leaders need God’s wisdom to discern the right opportunities to preach the gospel boldly. As a pastor, also I need God’s people to pray that God would strengthen me to endure temptations and discouragement. We should pray for pastors/spiritual leaders because they are charged to care for our souls. If pastors and spiritual leaders go, so goes the care for our souls.

• The sick – James 5:14-15

The Bible encourages us to pray for the sick. One of God’s names is Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. We have the privilege of bringing sick people before a holy and mighty God to ask for divine and immediate healing. We cannot and should not demand, but humbly ask, believing he can and will. He is sovereign. He can either say yes or no. Praying for the sick demonstrates our faith in a God who can do the impossible.

• Political leaders – 1 Timothy 2:1-3

We have a responsibility to pray for, not prey on our political leaders. No matter your political affiliation, if you are a Christ-follower, you are commanded to pray for political leaders. We should ask God to give them wisdom, strength, endurance, patience and integrity. If we berate our political leaders, then I believe we grieve the Holy Spirit, and we should repent. Whether they realize it our not, God uses political leaders to secure our religious freedom.

• Our enemies – Matthew 5:44; Acts 7:59, 60

Jesus says we should pray for our enemies. Now, praying for people who hate us is a difficult one for all of us. Why should I pray for someone who hates me and desires to injure me? Well, aside from it being a value of living in the Kingdom of God and our obedience to Jesus, forgiving and praying for our enemies is mysteriously tied to God forgiving and blessing us.

• Israel – Psalm 122:6; Isaiah 62:6-7

As of the writing of this post, I am in Israel, helping to lead a study tour. The more I learn about Israel, the more I am convinced of God’s sovereign plan and protection for his people. Out of all the nations, God chose insignificant Israel to be his people. She should have been wiped off the map by the Assyrians, Babylonians and the Persians, but God has spared her. Though she rejected God, He still has a special place in his heart for her. Pray that Jews in Israel will repent and surrender to Jesus as Lord and Messiah. Israel will play a significant role in the second coming of Jesus. Hence, we should pray for the peace Israel, especially Jerusalem.

• Everybody – 1 Timothy 2:1

Paul gives believers this command so they wouldn’t leave anyone out. Praying for everybody includes family members, neighbors, teachers, friends, and anyone else in our orbit.

• Ourselves – Genesis 24:12; Matthew 14:30; Luke 23:42

It is perfectly fine to ask God to bless us, give us success, save us, remember us, direct us, guide us, protect us. So, yes, we can pray for ourselves, asking God to bless us with a spouse, a new house, a different job, guidance, and wisdom. When we pray for ourselves, let’s make sure we are praying like James instructs us – with the right motives (James 4:3).

One of the best ways to make sure we are systematically praying for each of these people is to create a prayer list. This list should include names of specific people and specific prayers for them.

Praying for others is a privilege and responsibility. Let’s honor God by having enough faith to bring people before the throne of grace that they might find mercy in their time of need.

For whom, on this list, do you need to spend more time praying?  

The post 8 People The Bible Says We Should Pray For appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Toxic friends. How do you know you have them? I mean, you feel their negative influence, but you ignore it because you all have been friends for a while. You know that you need to do something about your relationship with them, but you don’t know what you should do. How do you recognize toxic friends and what do you do about them?

Toxic friends have a certain emotional and psychological gait. They position themselves in your life and they leave you drained, angry, suspicious doubting your judgment and having second thoughts about your relationship with them. They unintentionally and sometimes intentionally prevent you from experiencing purpose in your life. Toxic friends can lead you astray – from worship, friendship with God and friendship with others. How do we know we have toxic friends? What are some clear signs?

Signs You Have Toxic Friends

• They Are Selfish/Self-Absorbed

Every other word out of their mouths is my, I, and what about me. Their selfie show seems to overshadow you in every way. You pour out your heart, and it never fails, the conversation always seems to come back around to them and their issues. They dominate the conversation with their sorrows, their pain, and their drama. They never ask you about your day or what’s happening in your life. If they do, it’s so that they can get to what’s going on in theirs. When you want to talk about what’s going on in your life, just for a minute, they either trump your issue with their problems, or they call you selfish. Relationships should be: give and take, push and pull, and mutual sharing with one another. But, if your friends are self-absorbed and are always talking about themselves, then you might have a toxic friendship.

• They Pressure You to Sin or Make Unwise Choices 

Why does it seem you make the most ungodly and unwise decisions around them? It seems when you are around them, they pressure you to do things that are either sinful, uncomfortable or unwise. Sometimes, you give in and you make decisions with dire consequences. However, if you don’t give into the pressure, then you are made to feel like a guilty loser. When a so-called friend pressures or forces you to do something that is sinful or unwise, that friendship is probably toxic.

• They Are Chronic Complainers

Another sign of a toxic friend is someone who is a constant complainer. “Woe is me” is the eternal song of people who might be toxic friends. They complain about everything – weather, traffic, their jobs, their parents, their co-workers, slow, but free WIFI, and a host of other things. They always have a headache, backache, and a foot ache. Their aches have aches. Toxic friends grumble and have a grievance about everything. These people are like Ee-or or Glum in your life. They weigh you down with complaint after complaint. When they walk into the room, you can hear the Debbie Downer music.

• They Are Envious/Jealous/Competitive

A third sign that you might have toxic friends is that they are envious, jealous and competitive. You feel like you have to cover up your good news and happiness because your friend will be jealous, envious or harmful. Moreover, if you share your good news, your friends feel like they have to compete with you with better news. They cannot rejoice when you rejoice. Friends should be able to share in your success and excitement. If your friends cannot genuinely be happy for you, you probably have toxic friends.

• They Are Gossipers/Underminers

People who talk to you about others, more than likely are talking to other people about you. Gossipers separate close friends with negative talk. Gossipers are cowards. They don’t have enough emotional muscle to approach you to have a crucial and courageous conversation. Gossip undermines and robs a person of social capital, and it plants seeds of doubt about you in other people’s minds. It is much healthier to talk TO people with whom you have issues rather than talking ABOUT someone with whom you have issues.

• They Are Self-Righteous

The sixth sign of toxic friends is self-righteousness and judgmentalism. When individuals in your life think they are morally superior, they tend to look down on others – even you. These people seem to recognize how wrong you are and how right they are. This is a sign of toxicity. Individuals who are always holding others to a morally higher standard that they cannot and will not attain are self-righteous and hypocritical. These people want grace when they fail, but have little grace when others fail or don’t live up to a certain standard.

• They Are Unreliable 

Unreliability is the quality of a person or thing that cannot be trusted or relied upon. The Book of Proverbs says in Proverbs 25:19 that unreliable friends are like broken teeth and lame feet – they cannot be trusted in the time of trouble. When life serves up a cold dish of pain, with a side of suffering, you need friends you can trust to practice the ministry of presence. If they consistently expect you to be there for them, but they are never there for you, then you probably have toxic friends.

Why It Is Difficult to Leave Toxic Friendships

Why is is so hard to dump toxic friends? The same reason it is hard to get out of any dysfunctional relationship – there is something compelling about the familiar. Also, because, in the past, we have been made to feel guilty for thinking about leaving the relationship. Or, if we dissolve the relationship, then it’s our fault for ruining the friendship.

How To Deal with Toxic Friends

Confront the person

Sometimes, friends are simply unaware of what they are doing. So, we should have the tough conversation with them about their toxic behavior. The way you confront them matters. It should be gentle but firm. The person might become angry, but if the individual is truly a friend, they will receive your constructive feedback and seek to change their behavior. If they fail to change, then you have to take other steps. Now, remember, love should be the motive behind any confrontation.

Downgrade the friendship

If the person’s toxicity is too much for you to handle, then you must make the decision to move them from your inner circle to your outer circle. They simply cannot be privy to the intimate parts of your life anymore. Unfortunately, they become acquaintances and not close friends. I know this might be difficult, but it is a necessary ending if you want to maintain a modicum of sanity and emotional health.

Limit your time

Limiting your time with this person is a by-product of downgrading the relationship. The less time you spend with the person, the less likely they will negatively affect your life. Limiting your time with your friends might receive a large amount of criticism, but you have to remember you are making this move for your own emotional and psychological health.

Remove the person from your life 

Sometimes, toxins become cancerous, and the only way to handle the issue is to remove it surgically. If the relationship is emotionally unhealthy, you might have to make one of the toughest calls in your life – cut the person out of your life. Now, this is the last resort and it should be done with dignity, honor, and grace. If the individual is causing permanent emotional damage to you, then you need to distance yourself from her. Your future and destiny and sanity are more important than hanging on to a relationship that is more poisonous than positive.

God created us for relationships. These relationships should be a source of encouragement and safety, not bastions of danger and toxicity. When you’re in a great friendship, it blesses you emotionally and spiritually. But toxic friendships are sickening. Friends are supposed to add to your life, not take away from it.

What other signs or markers of toxic friends would you add to the list? 

The post 7 Clear Signs You Have Toxic Friends appeared first on Marvin Williams.

Dads, Happy Father’s Day! I hope your children celebrate you in a big way. You deserve it. Dad, you have great influence on your kids, and I know you want to help them navigate life better. Here are some lessons that I think can help children sidestep the landmines of life.

The following lessons – there were more than I had space for – do not appear in order of importance. Some of these lessons my father passed down to me. Many others I learned through trial and error and colleagues, friends, and other godly men investing in my life. I have succeeded in some of these areas, and I have failed more than I care to remember. My hope is that these talks and lessons will inspire conversation between you and your children as well.

• Life isn’t fair, but God is good.
• Information about Jesus should inevitably lead to transformation by Jesus.
• Trust God even when you can’t trace God.
• Find your identity in Christ. Period.
• Humility paves the way for God’s blessing to rest on your life.
• Disappointment is inevitable, but God’s faithfulness is incredible.
• You will never, ever, as long as you live, understand women.
• You will never, ever, as long as you live, understand men.
• Sex and intimacy are not the same. So, learn to build a friendship first.
• Somebody else has it worse than you. So, fill your heart and mouth with gratitude.
• Spending more money than you earn will leave you broke and in debt.
• One of the best ways to avoid temptation is not to walk down its street.
• Develop your relationship with God above every other relationship.
• Laugh and then laugh some more (especially at yourself).
• Success does not come overnight. So, work hard.
• It’s just nice to be nice to others.
• Genuine gratitude will move people to want to do more for you.
• Wealth is built incrementally. So, save little by little.
• Don’t quit a job before you have another job.
• Refuse to compromise integrity for momentary success.
• No one can make you angry; anger is a choice.
• Think before you post anything on social media.
• Your friends will determine the trajectory of your life. So, choose your friends carefully.
• Change the oil in your car every 3-4 thousand miles.
• Handshakes should be firm, and look the person in the eye.
• Ask thoughtful and meaningful questions.
• Your vote is your voice.
• If you lead anything or anyone, expect opposition.
• Be willing to say NO to what you want, so you can say YES to what is necessary.
• Be generous to your servers when you go out to eat.
• Bounce back and do not waddle in disappointment.
• Failure is not final.
• Love and serve people without a hidden agenda.
• God can and will use your failures to accomplish his purposes.
• Failure becomes a success, only if you learn from it.
• People-pleasers will always compromise their values to live someone else’s.
• You are not ready to be in authority until you have learned to be under authority and share authority.
• Every failure can teach us something; don’t stop searching until you have found/learned the lesson of every failure.
• The world doesn’t owe you anything. So, don’t let the spirit of entitlement grow in your heart.
• Work hard for what you get.
• Humility precedes elevation.
• Nothing good happens after 12:00 a.m.
• Refuse to allow immediate success to jeopardize future success.
• Take responsibility for your decisions and your life.
• Your choices will always have consequences.
• Read good books.
• Have the most important conversations face-to-face.
• Appreciate turbulence.
• Good beginnings don’t guarantee successful endings. Keep getting better.
• Don’t talk big and live small.
• Keep negativity to yourself.
• Give other people permission and power to help you improve.
• To be successful, you must be selective.
• You will not and cannot be friends with everyone.
• If a man will not respect and honor you, he is not worthy of you (Father’s with daughters).
• If you appear to be desperate for a man or a woman to love you, it will be easier for him/her to take advantage of you.
• Manage your money wisely.
• Brown socks with black pants don’t go together. They just don’t.
• You cannot change people. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job.
• It’s not a good idea to wash red t-shirts with white underwear.
• It’s not cool to leave your house in wrinkled clothes.
• The world is bigger than your present address. So, get a passport as soon as you’re old enough.
• Treat women like the precious treasures they are.
• Loving another human being is worth the risk, pain, and disappointment.
• Your actions today are creating memories tomorrow.
• Having talent is no substitute for developing character.
• When you focus on what you’re losing, you’ll never be able to enjoy what you have left.
• Never let fear determine your fate.
• You are more than what has happened to you.
• Some days, as a black person, you will be judged by the color of your skin and not the content of your character.
• You are not responsible for how people treat you, but you are responsible for how you treat them.
• Buying material things for your kids can never take the place of time you spend with your children.
• Because your time is limited, limit what you do with your time. Turn your minutes into moments.
• The prize of surrender to God is revelation from God.
• Exchange what people think of you for what God has already said about you.
• The most powerful and transformative act you can perform is to serve someone else.

Dads, thank you for being faithful to lead your children in the way everlasting. You are my heroes. For the men who have invested in my life and taught me many of these lessons – you know who you are – I thank God for you. You are amazing warriors to me.

So, fathers, we get one shot at this. Let’s rise to the challenge and make significant deposits in our children’s lives. If you have not lived up to your calling, it’s never too late to start over. Apologize. Ask questions. Learn from other fathers. Practice what you learn. Being a dad can be difficult at times, but it is an incredible privilege.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

What lessons would you add to this list? 

What are some lessons your dad taught you? 

Also, Check Out These Posts:

How Not to Be a Foolish Father: 6 Responsibilities of Dynamic Dads

18 Common Ways Parents Make Their Children to Anger

The post Talks A Dad Should Have With His Children appeared first on Marvin Williams.

I want to consistently have the best day ever, and I know you do too.  If we are going to have the best day ever, there are some decisions and affirmations about our lives and our day we should make before our day begins. How we think about God and ourselves will affect our attitudes and thereby shaping our day.

We can have the best day ever by rehearsing some simple but powerful affirmations each day. I am sure there are more, but I have listed 26 daily affirmations. You can affirm all of these each day or live with one of these affirmations for the entire day.

I will spend quality time being with Jesus.

I will live out of my new identity in Jesus.

I will trust God even when I can’t trace God.

I will remind myself that God loves me, a whole lot.

I will remind myself that God is good, all the time.

I will not approach God out of fear, shame, guilt or condemnation, but from a place of a beloved child.

I will strive to please God and not worry about what other people think of me.

I will not be immobilized by the fear of man, but inspired by the fear of God.

I will remind myself that “I am enough.”

I will achieve more and be a better person when I operate in a community of brothers and sisters.

I will love my family in meaningful and tangible ways.

I will fill my heart with gratitude.

I will forgive instead of hold grudges.

I will make healthy choices.

I will be 5% better than I was yesterday.

I will learn something new today.

I will not fret, worry or lose sleep over things I cannot control.

I will be a blessing to someone by performing a Spirit-directed, spontaneous act of kindness.

I will work on character over reputation.

I will make intentional investments in my most important relationships.

I will enjoy life today.

I will respond to my circumstances in faith, not fear.

I will spend less than I make.

I will laugh today, especially at myself.

I will not suppress, but express my true feelings.

I will leave work at work.

One more affirmation: Wherever I am and whoever I am with today, I will be fully present.

Having the best day ever is about making the daily decisions of affirming certain truths about God and about yourself – like the ones above. Don’t wait until tomorrow or next week. Today is the best day ever to have the best day ever.

Turn Your Minutes into Moments

Which affirmation resonates with you the most? 

What would you add to this list? 

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When Tonia encourages me, she breathes new life into my soul. This relational breath makes me feel like I have the strength to knock down mountains for her. Her words and affirmation of who I am and who God created me to be are like water in dry places. Over the past 21 years, Tonia has encouraged me in some particular ways. 

Several weeks ago I was asked to speak to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at our church. I was given two topics on which to speak. One was raising boys, and the other was encouraging your man. I recognized that not every woman would have boys. So, my talk could have alienated a third or half of my audience. Therefore, I chose the topic that I thought could hit the largest segment of my audience – Encouraging Your Man.

I know because I am a man, creating a list like this can seem self-serving. I assure you, this is not the reason for this post.  I wrote it because I was responding to the options that I was given, to give perspective as to how Tonia has encouraged me, and to give women ideas as to how they can support their men.

1. Find your identity in Christ first, not him. 1 Corinthians 5:17
2. Live a consistent Christian life before him. 1 Peter 3:1-2
3. Cultivate inner beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-4
4. Express gratitude for him. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
5. Catch him being a servant and celebrate it. Galatians 5:13
6. Develop patience. 1 Corinthians 13:4; Colossians 3:12
7. Adjust your expectations. 1 Corinthians 13:4
8. Pray for him. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
9. Put on kindness and humility. Colossians 3:12
10. Celebrate his work. Ephesians 4:28
11. Hold your tongue. Ephesians 4:29
12. Applaud his faithfulness. Proverbs 20:6
13. Listen to him. James 1:19
14. Tell him how fine he is. Song of Solomon 1:16
15. Respect him. Ephesians 5:22
16. Give him the “Nookie (If you are married).” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
17. Recognize and praise any spiritual growth. 2 Peter 3:18
18. Laugh with him. Proverbs 17:22
19. Forgive/Hold no grudges. Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13
20. Admire his strengths. Song of Solomon 5:10-16
21. Acknowledge his courage. Psalm 31:24
22. Be truthful. Colossians 3:9
23. Understand him. 1 Peter 3:7
24. Fight for his highest good. Galatians 5:22
25. Honor him before your children. Proverbs 18:21

This list is not infallible, but I think it is a good list of how women can encourage their men. Take this list and talk it over with your husband, fiance, or boyfriend, and ask him if this is an accurate sampling.

Remember, there should be mutual submission and encouragement in relationships. That’s the reason I wrote a follow-up post on practical and powerful ways every man can fight for his woman.

Turn Your Minutes into Moments

What are some other ways women can encourage their men?

How do you like to be encouraged and supported?

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