The Way We Think About Sex Is Broken

5 Principles That Should Shape Our Thinking About Sex

Reading Time: 4 minutes

If you Google the word sex, you will get approximately 1.8 billion hits. Next week the number will be higher This is not surprising. Many of those hits, more than likely, reveal the brokenness, corrupted, devalued and ugly side of sex. This was never God’s plan for this beautiful and amazing gift. When we embrace and appreciate the WHY of sex, then we will begin to enjoy the WHAT of sex. Why did God create and give us this beautiful gift anyway?

I am convinced that when we embrace the original purposes and limits God has set for its enjoyment, sex will be AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL EPIC, OMG, EXTRAORDINARY!

God created sex.

Our good Father is the author and Creator of the good and beautiful gift of sex. Sex is a creation of God, not Hollywood or “reality” television.  Because God created this amazing gift, we should look to him to understand how he designed it and what are the purposes for it. Genesis 1:28

God created sex to for marriage. 

God created human sexuality. He created male and female to complement one another sexually – in marriage. Because God created human sexuality and the act of sex, then he has the right to tell us how and where to experience this gift. He wants us to enjoy sexual intimacy in the context of marriage. Married couples celebrate their union with sexual intimacy (Genesis 2:23-24).

To experience this gift outside the limits God has ordained is a sin. Though this is not popular these days, the Bible says it is true. This means premarital sexual relations, adultery, prostitution, rape, homosexual intercourse, bestiality, incest, voyeurism, and pornography are expressions of sexual brokenness. These sexual sins go beyond the limits that God has set for sexual enjoyment.

God created sex for couples to express a spiritual truth.

God gave married couples sexual intimacy to celebrate their union and to express whole-life oneness. Sexual relations is not just about skin-to-skin, hittin’ it, or getting our swerve on. It is a physical expression of spiritual truth. This truth is spiritual and emotional oneness. Sexual intimacy is as much a spiritual and emotional connection as it is a physical act (Genesis 2:24).

When God created man and woman, he created them to be spiritual and emotional beings. They were designed to connect with God and with one another.  They were created to be in tune with one another’s needs for love, intimacy, closeness, and companionship. Spiritual and emotional oneness are naturally expressed through sexual intimacy.  God designed it so that when a couple is sexually intimate, they would be proclaiming: “we are one” on every level. Now, to have sex without this oneness, cheapens and devalues this beautiful gift God has given a husband and wife.

Listen, when Tonia and I one – spiritually and emotionally – the joy we experience is like Handel’s Messiah – Hal-le-lujah! Hal-le-lujah! Hal-le-lujah! (I know that was probably way too much information). It is what God intended for it to be. The opposite is true as well. When we are not living in unity in our marriage, there is a lack of sexual fulfillment and pleasure.

Someone might say, “Since I am not one with my partner, then do I have to have sex with my spouse?”  This is the wrong question. The question we should ask is, “How do we become one spiritually and emotionally so that when we do come together sexually, it will be fulfilling to us and glorifying to God.

God created sex for couples to provide mutual pleasure.

Because God gave us all things to enjoy, we can conclude that he gave couples the gift of sexual intimacy to enjoy. Married couples should find pleasure in sex. God created it that way. The writer of Proverbs affirms this truth: Proverbs 5:15-20.  The book of Song of Solomon is all about a couple celebrating sexual pleasure in their marriage. God gave us sex for mutual pleasure.

Unless there are physical, emotional or sin issues, you should be enjoying sexual intimacy in your marriage. Now, sexual relations should be pleasurable, but not the end all be all in a relationship. Sexual intimacy was not designed to be robust enough to sustain our marital relationship.

Sexual intimacy is pleasurable, but should not be the ultimate pleasure in a relationship.

God created sex for couples to have children.

God is the ultimate giver of life, but when he gave Adam and Eve the command to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28), he was inviting them and us to be co-creators of life with him. We have the privilege of conceiving and giving birth to children through sexual intimacy.  According to Psalm 127:3, children are a blessing from God.

Though procreation should take place in marriage, unfortunately, because of the fall, some couples are unable to have children. Thank God couples can enjoy adopting and fostering children.

Let’s think about sex from God’s point of view. When we let Jesus redeem our sexuality, we can experience sex the way God intended. As we embrace God’s purposes for sex, we will have a better chance of enjoying this beautiful gift.

Where do we see the most sexual brokenness in our world?  

In you opinion, if sex is such a power topic, why doesn’t the church talk about it more?

What are some ways we can redeem this beautiful gift God has given us?  




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